Mr. T Facts

(tried to add a picture of Mr. T himself, but this thing won't let me. )

1. Mr. T heard the saying, "You can't spit on Superman's cape." He decided to try it, but Superman told him the cape was still in the wash from the day before when Mr. T wiped his ass with it.
2. When Mr.T kills someone, he eats their soul first.
Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
3. Mr. T once entered a Hot Dog eating contest. He ate a record 93 hot dogs, a 72 oz. steak, two pedestrians, a streetlamp, and a judge who called him "that guy from the A-Team".
4. When asked for his thoughts on vegetarians, Mr. T said: “If god didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them out of meat…Fool.”

5. One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.

6. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.

7. Objects with more mass have more gravity. Consequently, most of the universe is attracted to Mr. T's chains. However, they are kept in equilibrium due to the fact that Mr. T scares the crap out of anything coming too close.

8. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference however, is to walk on fools.
9. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

10. Mr. T is hung like a 8 year old. No, seriously... his penis is the size of a small boy.

11. The last time Mr. T cried, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. Then to make himself feel better, he ate 2 of every animal.

12. The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.

13.Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.

14. He who disagrees with Mr. T in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with Mr. T in public, call him an ambulance.

15. God was able to create the world in seven days only because he had the aid of Mr. T, a blow torch, and a musical montage.

16. Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to avoid Mr. T.

17. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.

18. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.

19. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

20. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

21. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

22. Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.

23. When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.

24. Someone once suggested that Mr. T's first name is Pit. His body was found 10 seconds later. The police concluded that he committed suicide by stabbing himself with a Mohawk 389 times, choking himself with a gold chain and by eating both of his own legs.

25. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.