Mamma mia!

So I'm in the middle of this hike between these five little fishing villages on the Italian Riviera (never gonna get sick of saying that). I'm descending from one of the hills, entering into the "suburbs," if you can say that for a town that has about 600 residents and no cars. I'm looking around, peeking into yards a little bit, being snoopy.

And then I see this, tucked inside a gated doorway of this quaint little farmhouse. I guess when you live in a farmhouse one thing to do is take a loaf of bread -- already a phallic symbol in its own right -- a step further.

Lest you think this is only happening in the small villages, far from the trappings of massive civilization, I give you exhibit B, which I saw driving around in Rome. Apparently this is a clothing brand. You decide.

"Roadhouse" and Polygamy

I am currently an editor / publishing coordinator at a publishing company in Fullerton. It is a weird job, I basically babysit sales reps and HOPE they do their job. Of course, they never do. The weirdest part of the job is the day to day revelations and drama. Here is ANOTHER list (thanks for paving the way Jesse)

-The owner of the company is a polygamist. He has two women, both named Deb and they both work at the company. He has two daughters with one, so maybe she is the "first Deb" and the other is the lowly "Second Deb."

-One of the salespeople is seriously crazy, she'll come in once in a while, stand in the middle of the room and scream obscenities at everyone, then she'll run in the bathroom, grab 5 rolls of toilet paper and flee the building. I've gotten a few calls from her and all she does is yell and blame me for stuff I've never done. She's also tried to tell me about her personal life, but I just hang up on her. We're allowed to do that, but just to her. I've started talking back to her, I mean, if she's still employed after all that, there is NO way they could fire me.

-The other day, one of the sales people asked one of our writers if she smoked weed, she said no, and was greeted with a long exhale, a cough, and the salesman saying "Man, this is some good shit!

-The owner pulled me and the other two girls into his office and gave us the following bits of wisdom
-We should treat the salespeople how Patrick Swayze treated his customers when he worked as a bouncer in the movie "Roadhouse." Be nice, until it is time to not be nice anymore.
-Apparently, owner man has been in AA for 14 years, so he used a lot of 12-step metaphors that I guess you'd have to be drunk to understand
- If a man breaks into your house and steals your stuff, it is unexcusable, but is he probably doing the best he can to survive? YES, he is.
- It is human nature to want to kill someone who has more food and land than you.

Of course, none of this made any sense when we were just going in to ask some questions about getting art in on time.

Also, he said "Let me put this into perspective for you" 12 times in 20 minutes and he always leaned back into his chair when he did it.

And that is all I can remember at the moment. Every day it is something else.

Silent Movie

Triumph over adversity

This newscaster brings us the feel-good story of a young man who overcame a horrible, debilitating condition to scale Mt. Everest.

Want fries with that shakedown?

Deadspin offers up this excellent photoshoppery that's made the rounds on the internets to go with the Dolphins signing Marcus Vick, who most recently was in a little trouble for pulling a gun on some teenagers at McDonald's. Dude's so famous, he's already got a whole page on badjocks.com documenting all his legal troubles in college.

Pandora Discovery

I was listening to my Bjork station on Pandora the other day when a song called "Malcolm X" came on. When I heard the chorus I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.
Anyway, here are the lyrics. Hopefully someone will find the lyrics to be as humorous as I do.


"Malcolm X"
Lyrics by Jamie Green
Music by Jamie Green & Troy King



Verse One
Malcolm I heard the news today
They lynched your grandson in the press
They said he took your widow's dress
And lit a fire

I did not believe what they said
It could not be what they had said
They said your daughter was depressed
And raised a hoodlum

Refrain
What does a blue-eyed devil
Care of this situation?
Tears are no justification
But they flow nonetheless
And I'm sorry Malcolm X
So sorry Malcolm X

Verse 2
I'm sorry for the way she died
As if her life weren't hard enough
I hope that she's there with you now
And somehow smiling

But can you look down and not weep
For the black souls you loved so deep
Could things have turned out differently
If you'd been with them?

Refrain
What does a blue-eyed devil
Care of this situation?
Tears are no justification
But they flow nonetheless
And I'm sorry Malcolm X
So sorry Malcolm X

Bridge
Cream in your black coffee was
The only form of integration you approved
You believed that hearts that bleed
Were somehow worse than Klansmen

But I know you came to change your mind
Perhaps the rainbow should unite
The Prince and King would have agreed and
That's why they killed you


Verse 3
Maybe that's why I sometimes weep
The rest of us are so damn weak
We need the folks like you to lead
To wake our sleeping

But who is brave enough these days
To take a bullet in the chest
We've all been warned too many times
Righteousness means death

Tag
And I'm sorry Malcolm X
So sorry for our mess

No more Yankee my A-Rod

I know these Brokeback parodies are played out like that "Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis" (apologies to Penrod), but this one's pretty good.

In your face

I think this guy totally let Barry Bonds have it. I'm not sure though.

Sorry

Can't resist.

I heart Stephen Colbert

In what was, perhaps, the best moment of political journalism during this presidency, I have to give made props to Mr. Colbert. I was dying the whole time...especially about the "Hindenburg" comment.

Greatest.Commercial.Ever.

I really absolutely unflappingly love Wes Anderson's movies. Just the ridiculous ways people talk to other people. And the absolute absurdity of most of it, passed off as being as completely normal, and the way people don't even acknowledge it.

Like in The Life Aquatic, when Jane is interviewing Zissou, and there's his own killer whale swimming around in the background... and he pulls a gun on her, a pregnant reporter. But no one seems to blink at any of it.

Anyway, this Amex ad kinda wraps all that into one pretty stunning little package.

Gross

For all you USC haters out there, Yahoo! apparently has video of Reggie Bush being probed. Enjoy.

Hey, remember this?

Fast food reality

Quizno's official representation of its new Prime Rib sub, on a really excellent site, Fast Food News.



What the sandwich really looks like, as shown on another excellent site, The Impulsive Buy. The full review can be found here.

Nerds, unite!

This guy re-created the 10th inning of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series on RBI Baseball. This is incredible.

But maybe even more incredible -- and this happened a long time ago so you may have seen this -- but some dude beat Mario Bros. 3 in 11 minutes.

So Excited