The Hawks' Nest

This is from today's game. My guess: A Coug. Drinking two beers simultaneously, rocking a pre-frayed hat and wearing the jersey of a player who isn't on the team anymore. There's no one on the team who wears No. 24 -- that's a jersey of Shawn Springs, who was traded two years ago to the Redskins and was playing AGAINST the Seahawks yesterday.

I just find this funny.

"I can't believe they make everyone work a lot and not smoke."

For those who don't know, this letter is the inspiration for the name of this blog. It's from a foreign film (as you can see above), which was translated to "Outside Providence" in the United States. Dunphy, who was sent to an academy for getting in trouble, receives a letter from his friend Drugs back home, but the dean of the school opens it first, then calls Dunphy into his office and reads it out loud:

Greetings, Dunph, what's happening?

I got your letter today. Cornhole Academy sounds like it really sucks the big one. I can't believe they make everyone work a lot and not smoke. You should tell that piece of shit Funderturd to shove it. You didn't want to go there in the first place. He'd shit, man. Today you should have seen me and Mousy today at school today. We got cocked on a pint of blackberry brandy and ate some THC on the bus. We were fucked. This teacher, Mr. Rivera, goes, "What's wrong with you, Delaney?" I go, "I'm totally fucked, man!" Everybody laughed like a bastard. Oh man, you should see this song I'm listening to, man. It's called "Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend." I think it's by a group called -- (passes out for a few hours) Must have nodded out, man. I gotta go, cause I'm probably definitely gonna nod out again. You want me to send you some squeef, or you got enough? Good luck not getting caught.

Cocked in Rhode Island,
Drugs

P.S. Mousy says he stink-fingered Bunny Cody.

A frickin' awesome ringtone

Teej, as your pals on here know you... I suggest you immediately grab this ringtone to combat the annoying ones the office surrounds you with. It's one of the most obnoxious ones I've ever heard.

Take it like a man

Your favorite beer, Miwaukee's Best Light, has some funny macho games on their site. I don't remember how I saw it. It's not like I frequent shitty beer websites. But check this one out here. They also have one called "DON'T Dance Dance Revolution" where you have to try not to dance to boy band songs while your friends are around, and one where you try to sneak a peek at your friend's sister's rack without her noticing. So testosterone-friendly!

Drum solos DO have a point

This is probably one of the best things I've ever seen. Buddy Rich and Animal from the Muppets have a drum-off.

Killer job opportunity

This might be too much responsibility for me. I've just raised a human child for six years. But the money is soooo tempting.

Sweet deal

Anyone want to go in on this with me?

Splash Mountain time again

Good God man, I've gotta post something to move those Colin Farrell photos down so I can read this thing at work again. So here goes.

WHY NOT ME?

I understand that I am the only female in a male-dominated blog, but when you ask for Sarah, you get ALL of Sarah.
That said, imagine my surprise (read: delight) when I go to my favorite awful celebrity gossip blog and run into these pictures.



Excuse me while I catch my breath.
Yep, that's right...it is my future baby's daddy Colin Farrell....fucking someone else. But still, amazing visuals.
I don't even know why sex tapes are a big deal anymore. It seems like celebrities make them all the time and to be honest, most of the celebrities on them probably give better performances in them than in any big Hollywood film.
What I will never get is why celebrities think that they can make a sex video and keep it private. Don't they realize freaks are probably humping the garbage bags they put out on the street? I don't think I've even heard of a single tape I really believe was stolen. Paris' was sold by the dude she tangoed with, Pamela and Tommy SO sold theirs...I mean, come on...that video got them more publicity than their other "talents" ever did. Yeah Tommy, I'm talking about you.
The worst video I've ever seen was the Fred Durst one just because he is disgusting and made weird noises...and he wrote "Nookie."

It's the offseason. Forgive me.

I hate this time of year. Being in San Diego, the NBA might as well not exist. The NHL is on perennial lockout. Football is over. Baseball hasn't started. We have figure skating centerpieces in our sports section.

But just to keep me happy, I like to look at this. My Texas A&M Aggies were playing up in Stillwater, Oklahoma, at Oklahoma State a couple of years ago. Those kids were feeling pretty good about their team. Then we poured it on pretty quick, leaving the Cowboys stunned. And someone nabbed this gem. Here's to football season getting here with the quickness.

I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

There's just too much goodness in here:

"Denim giant Levi Strauss said on Tuesday it had designed jeans compatible with the iPod music player, featuring a joystick in the watch pocket to operate the device.
The Levi's RedWire DLX Jeans for men and women, which will be available this fall, also have a built-in docking cradle for the iPod and retractable headphones. Pricing was not immediately available."

I, for one, don't like the idea of having a docking cradle anywhere near my bizness. That's just not my kind of party. "Do you wanna put your iPod in my docking cradle? You know, in my pants?" That might be a killer pick-up line though.

And I'm not sure I wanna be fiddlin' about with my watch pocket whenever I wanna change songs, and with a joystick, no less. I think people would think I liked myself. A lot.

They're Vinglin' baby

I know Travis will love the new Pussycat Dolls song "Beep" because it features Will.I.Am. But what he would love even more is to buy the new Vingle (video single, get it?), off iTunes. Only $1.99.

Dudes will LOVE this movie

Well, this is my first entry in this amazing new blog and I definitely have something to bitch about: the movie Hostel.
I went to see it last weekend with my best friend and fellow horror-movie lover, Katie. Did I actually think it was going to be scary? Not really, little scares me anymore but hey, I had a gift certificate, so why not?
The first thing I recognized was the extreme use of T&A to get the audience's attention. The opening 15 minutes takes place in Amsterdam's Red Light District, so use your imagination. The second thing I recognized was the horrific acting. Yes, this movie was made by the same genius who made Cabin Fever. The characters still only knew one insult, "Fag!" and still didn't realize that if you have sex or do drugs in a horror movie, you're going to die.
I remember I wrote a review of Cabin Fever for the Daily Evergreen and pretty much said I fucking hated it and that anyone who liked it must be a masochist, and someone wrote me a letter to the editor saying I was a retard because the movie was clearly an allegory about AIDS. Umm...yeah, CLEARLY.
Bottom line: If you are 10, and you want to see some boobies, check out Hostel.

Kim Jong vs. Kool Moe Dee: Who ya got?

Kim Jong Il is currently having a lyrical battle with the rest of the free world. Kool Moe Dee lost a battle to LL Cool J. And WTF is that, a beret? I'm taking Kim Jong.

The revolution will be blogcasted. . . . OK, that's not a real word. But it's gonna be good.

Welcome to You Should See This Song I'm Listening To. Yeah, it's long -- get over it. This site will be a collaborative effort by a group of people mostly familiar with one another to begin with, but we don't know where it will go from there. The goal is to create a forum where we can share jokes with one another, and also with the rest of the world. That would require the world knowing who the hell we are. We're working on that.